Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
