At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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