Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
