The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
