There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
