So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
