what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
