And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
