i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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