it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
