I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
