So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
