I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
