So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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