Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
