Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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