I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
