Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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