Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize