he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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