i think i have herpe
just one?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
