with your own penis?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
