god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
