Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
