i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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