i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
