ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
wanna go halves on a baby?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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