Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
