I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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