so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just pee around me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to calm my uterus...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
