I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
