Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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