they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
NoShamevember. You game?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
