I wish I could punch you in the face.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Damn victory sex feels great
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