So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
