peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Terrible idea I love it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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