did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
