Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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