I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no, he came in my armpit
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My vagina is officially offended.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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