i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
