The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
