If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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