ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
