how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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