She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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