I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
