This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
oh god the rape fog is back!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
