omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
