I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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