yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
