just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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