hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We are all done wearing pants today
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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