I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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