ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
