i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
