It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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