Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
