i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
