I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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