You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think i have two assholes
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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