I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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