I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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