Small penises have feelings too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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