I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
