Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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