she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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