Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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(253): View more from Washington

I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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(614): View more from Ohio

I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now

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(530): View more from California

smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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(910): View more from North Carolina

he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

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(949): View more from California

the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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(509): View more from Washington

You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.

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(916): View more from California

Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays

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